Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon

Why is Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon by Devendra Banhart still one of my favorite albums? Excellent question. Tough one to answer, as well, because to pinpoint just one answer is to do a HUGE disservice to the complexity of this magnificent album.

First, we'll start with the cover art:
Sorry, that's just some really awesome cover art. It's perfect for the album, as well. It looks like the album sounds. Speaking of looks, the number two reason to love Devendra Banhart is the publicity photos taken by Lauren Dukoff in Topanga Canyon, CA. See the lunacy below:
Awesome pictures notwithstanding, this is a music album, not a photo album, right?

It starts off with the usual Devendra~patented melodic folk and by track four, Seahorse, it sounds as if it will continue that way. Until about two minutes in, when a cymbal crashes and the time changes to a jazzy 5/4. Anyone who plays an instrument knows that 5/4 is a royal dickpain, but these guys pull it off as only Dave Brubeck had before them. The jazz bit builds into an impressive climax, when out of a split second dead silence comes a pretty biting guitar riff (no longer in 5/4). The jazz and folk of earlier are left behind for what sounds like mid-90's Altrock mixed with the guitar lessons of the 1970's. And throughout this entire musical voyage, Devendra's cerebral lyrics violate the space between your ears.

And that's just one song! I could do that for each and every song. But, I'll just do highlights. Such as track 7, Shabop Shalom. Which starts with a spoken word story about a boy falling in love with the rabbi's daughter. After concluding that "Just to think, this could all be with a frenectomy and a few words of love." Immediately after the "ve" sound is complete, there's a hit on the snare and a doo-wopesque Jewish love song starts. With such classic lines as "My sweet Tel-Avivian lamb's bread, my heart will act as an emollient" and "Your sweet supple breasts are golden ghettos. Soft statues in stilletos. Two wisemen instead of three. Bearing gifts just for me." He goes on to claim he wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls for his love. It's not only retardedly funny, sometimes, when you don't notice how comical it is, it's actually a pretty good love song.

The next song, Tonada Yanomaminsita has equally strange lyrics, i.e. "In 1902, the devil sucked off the moon. Please hold me, just hold me." Devendra brings the funk a few tracks later, titled Lover. A classic, punchy bass line and the slightly distorted, open chord guitar give this song a definitely funky vibe. The lyrics, again, are simply ridiculous. "You'll never have to ask, I'll give you my sweet grass. I'm gonna mesmerize your ass. Just give me my first chance, it's gonna be the last. I'm gonna make you wanna stay."

The song immediately following Lover is Carmensita. Carmensita makes Santana look like a schmuck. Well, like more of a schmuck. This song is an incredible feat of Latin rhythm and decent guitarwork. The lyrics, sung entirely in spanish, make absolutely no sense, i.e.: "Oh, your eyes they're colored blue and orangish. Yellow, green and brown. My love covered by your heart.
Do not release it please." However, for the english speaking world, it's pretty catchy.

If those examples don't make you want to buy the album, then maybe I'm not doing a good enough job. Maybe the music will speak for itself.

Why I Will Never Watch Chronicles of Narnia

Okay, to preface this entry, I remind you all I work at Blockbuster.

Moving on. We have a PS3 set up playing BluRays thru at 30-esque inch plasma television. Some nights we switch it up, but lately all we've been watching is the first Chronicles of Narnia. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe or whatever. It plays on infinite repeat during all hours of operation. Everyone raves about how great the movie is and I still haven't seen it all the way through.

I officially decided tonight that I won't. I looked up at the screen at various times to see what sort of AWESOMENESS would be laid at my feet (as everyone had claimed happened to them).

The first time I looked up, I saw a group of kids following an enormous groundhog around. How quaint, I thought, that these kids be following an enormous, wise groundhog through this crazy ass tunnel. I went back to work and ignored a large portion of the movie.

The next time I looked up, there was James McAvoy as a dwarf goat/man hybrid whispering to one of the kids from the "Groundhog Chase" scene earlier. What kind of message is this sending to the youth? "Let every dwarf goat/man hybrid that looks like the guy from Wanted seclude you in a forest?" Unacceptable. This was the beginning of my impression that this movie was shitty.
The third time I looked at the screen, I saw Santa Claus. This needs no explanation as to why I was unimpressed besides a hearty "What the fuck?!". It's like they just tossed him in there because, "Why the fuck not?".
The fourth (and final nail in the coffin) scene I viewed was actually more comical than anything. A bunch of dwarves that looked like James McAvoy (without goat legs) had tied a lion up and started shaving him. I'm sure there's symbolism I'm not understanding but all I can imagine is someone is going to be ULTIMATELY pissed off that somebody shaved their lion.

I could find any pictures online of the lion shaving. Sorry.

My co-worker tried to explain that The Wardrobe is selective as to who it allows to enter Narnia. I thought critically for a moment as to why it wouldn't chuck out the pedophile goat/man and the dwarven lion shavers. I mean, it can keep Santa, because for all intents and purposes, he's an okay guy, but what about that big groundhog? What's he do that's so great?