Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon

Why is Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon by Devendra Banhart still one of my favorite albums? Excellent question. Tough one to answer, as well, because to pinpoint just one answer is to do a HUGE disservice to the complexity of this magnificent album.

First, we'll start with the cover art:
Sorry, that's just some really awesome cover art. It's perfect for the album, as well. It looks like the album sounds. Speaking of looks, the number two reason to love Devendra Banhart is the publicity photos taken by Lauren Dukoff in Topanga Canyon, CA. See the lunacy below:
Awesome pictures notwithstanding, this is a music album, not a photo album, right?

It starts off with the usual Devendra~patented melodic folk and by track four, Seahorse, it sounds as if it will continue that way. Until about two minutes in, when a cymbal crashes and the time changes to a jazzy 5/4. Anyone who plays an instrument knows that 5/4 is a royal dickpain, but these guys pull it off as only Dave Brubeck had before them. The jazz bit builds into an impressive climax, when out of a split second dead silence comes a pretty biting guitar riff (no longer in 5/4). The jazz and folk of earlier are left behind for what sounds like mid-90's Altrock mixed with the guitar lessons of the 1970's. And throughout this entire musical voyage, Devendra's cerebral lyrics violate the space between your ears.

And that's just one song! I could do that for each and every song. But, I'll just do highlights. Such as track 7, Shabop Shalom. Which starts with a spoken word story about a boy falling in love with the rabbi's daughter. After concluding that "Just to think, this could all be with a frenectomy and a few words of love." Immediately after the "ve" sound is complete, there's a hit on the snare and a doo-wopesque Jewish love song starts. With such classic lines as "My sweet Tel-Avivian lamb's bread, my heart will act as an emollient" and "Your sweet supple breasts are golden ghettos. Soft statues in stilletos. Two wisemen instead of three. Bearing gifts just for me." He goes on to claim he wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls for his love. It's not only retardedly funny, sometimes, when you don't notice how comical it is, it's actually a pretty good love song.

The next song, Tonada Yanomaminsita has equally strange lyrics, i.e. "In 1902, the devil sucked off the moon. Please hold me, just hold me." Devendra brings the funk a few tracks later, titled Lover. A classic, punchy bass line and the slightly distorted, open chord guitar give this song a definitely funky vibe. The lyrics, again, are simply ridiculous. "You'll never have to ask, I'll give you my sweet grass. I'm gonna mesmerize your ass. Just give me my first chance, it's gonna be the last. I'm gonna make you wanna stay."

The song immediately following Lover is Carmensita. Carmensita makes Santana look like a schmuck. Well, like more of a schmuck. This song is an incredible feat of Latin rhythm and decent guitarwork. The lyrics, sung entirely in spanish, make absolutely no sense, i.e.: "Oh, your eyes they're colored blue and orangish. Yellow, green and brown. My love covered by your heart.
Do not release it please." However, for the english speaking world, it's pretty catchy.

If those examples don't make you want to buy the album, then maybe I'm not doing a good enough job. Maybe the music will speak for itself.

Why I Will Never Watch Chronicles of Narnia

Okay, to preface this entry, I remind you all I work at Blockbuster.

Moving on. We have a PS3 set up playing BluRays thru at 30-esque inch plasma television. Some nights we switch it up, but lately all we've been watching is the first Chronicles of Narnia. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe or whatever. It plays on infinite repeat during all hours of operation. Everyone raves about how great the movie is and I still haven't seen it all the way through.

I officially decided tonight that I won't. I looked up at the screen at various times to see what sort of AWESOMENESS would be laid at my feet (as everyone had claimed happened to them).

The first time I looked up, I saw a group of kids following an enormous groundhog around. How quaint, I thought, that these kids be following an enormous, wise groundhog through this crazy ass tunnel. I went back to work and ignored a large portion of the movie.

The next time I looked up, there was James McAvoy as a dwarf goat/man hybrid whispering to one of the kids from the "Groundhog Chase" scene earlier. What kind of message is this sending to the youth? "Let every dwarf goat/man hybrid that looks like the guy from Wanted seclude you in a forest?" Unacceptable. This was the beginning of my impression that this movie was shitty.
The third time I looked at the screen, I saw Santa Claus. This needs no explanation as to why I was unimpressed besides a hearty "What the fuck?!". It's like they just tossed him in there because, "Why the fuck not?".
The fourth (and final nail in the coffin) scene I viewed was actually more comical than anything. A bunch of dwarves that looked like James McAvoy (without goat legs) had tied a lion up and started shaving him. I'm sure there's symbolism I'm not understanding but all I can imagine is someone is going to be ULTIMATELY pissed off that somebody shaved their lion.

I could find any pictures online of the lion shaving. Sorry.

My co-worker tried to explain that The Wardrobe is selective as to who it allows to enter Narnia. I thought critically for a moment as to why it wouldn't chuck out the pedophile goat/man and the dwarven lion shavers. I mean, it can keep Santa, because for all intents and purposes, he's an okay guy, but what about that big groundhog? What's he do that's so great?

What is so funny about Jeff Dunham?

I officially tried today to watch some Jeff Dunham on YouTube and, I must say, I cannot find the man funny. One clip I watched, for instance, was a puppet commenting on how his name should be pronounced Jefa-fa Dun Ham. Over and over and over again. For nearly the full 2:26. See below.

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I, too, can repeat myself ad nauseum about many different topics. But, I can't use a puppet to save my life. Frankly, puppets freak me out. Two strikes, Mr. Dunham. The third strike comes in the form of a skeletonized terrorist puppet named Achmed. This 1:51 video plays into nothing more than simple stereotypes and common misinformation referring to Middle Easterners in general. I figure (as well as my manager), that Jeff Dunham is actually not a racist. He is, however, well aware of who rents and buys his DVDs. From my own experience at Blockbuster, they are generally unkempt, with poor dental hygeine and had to drive no less that 45 minutes out of the hills to come to our store. I once had a lady rent two of his DVDs with rolled coins as payment. These people have been caught up in the fear mongering and Jeff Dunham knows that they that "A-rabs are terr'rist sunsabitches". So, he plays into it and all his redneck fans dig his stuff even harder. Below, endure 10:47 of ignorance.

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Wow. Painful, no? What I found equally disturbing and simultaneously a great business strategy was this little gem from Dane Cook. It's (believe me) about atheists, he wanders off on random shit the entire time. But, basically, he denounces an atheist as being ridiculous and speaks about how ridiculous his views are. Well, that's what the atheist doing and it was unacceptable. Hm? American double standard at work. Dane Cook is not funny anyways, but this is just retarded. My ex-girlfriend's friend was watching it and everyone was having a good laugh. Her friend is actually also 19, with a kid, married to a marine that treats her like shit. Idyllic little Eden they have. Here's Dane Shitbreath McCook's atheist joke:

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He talks about going to heaven, but he's already out, man. In a big way. St. Peter will not allow him in because of this shit:

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So, an alarming percentage of Americans eat this shit up because they get it. It's easy to understand. Jeff Dunham's name has the word Ham in it. *Check*. Terrorists are bad. *Check* Atheists are going to burn in hell. *Check*. Throw some deeper meaning into stand up comedy, and people don't get it. Steven Wright is a perfect example (warning: not awesome sound) as is Mitch Hedberg:

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So, to summarize, I'm not really upset at Dunham and Cook, they have their own kind of humor. I'm upset that too many Americans enjoy that sort of inane bullshit and instead of actively working on any number of problems, they watch morons talk about it via stereotypes and generalizations.

Don't Think Twice, It's Alright
Written By Bob Dylan
Performed By Bryan Ferry

It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don't matter, anyhow
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don't know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right

I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right

Roxy Music ~ If There Is Something

Roxy Music ~ If There Is Something

If there is something that
I might find
Look around corners
Try to find peace of mind I say
Where would you go if you were me
Try to keep a straight course not easy
Somebody special looking at me
A certain reaction we find
What should it try to be I mean
If there are many
Meaning the same
Be specific just a game

I would do anything for you
I would climb mountains
I would swim all the oceans blue
I would walk a thousand miles
Reveal my secrets
More than enough for me to share
I would put roses round our door
Sit in the garden
Growing potatoes by the score

Shake your hair girl with your ponytail
Takes me right back when you were young
Throw your precious gifts into the air
Watch them fall down when you were young
Lift up your feet and put them on the ground
You used to walk upon when you were young
Lift up your feet and put them on the ground
The hills were higher when we were young
Lift up your feet and put them on the ground
The trees were taller when you were young
Lift up your feet and put them on the ground
The grass was greener when you were young
Lift up your feet and put them on the ground

You used to walk upon when you were young

Neil Young ~ After The Goldrush Lyrics

Neil Young ~ After The Gold Rush

Well, I dreamed I saw the knights
In armor coming,
Saying something about a queen
There were peasants singing
And drummers drumming
And the archer split the tree
There was a fanfare blowing to the sun
That was floating on the breeze
Look at Mother Nature on the run
In the nineteen seventies
Look at Mother Nature on the run
In the nineteen seventies

I was lying in a burned out basement
With a full moon in my eye
I was hoping for replacement
When the sun burst through the sky
There was a band playing in my head
And I felt like getting high
I was thinking about what a friend had said
I was hoping it was a lie
Thinking about what a friend had said
I was hoping it was a lie

I dreamed I saw the
Silver spaceships flying
In the yellow haze of the sun
There were children crying
And colors flying
All around the chosen one
All in a dream, all in a dream
The loading had begun
Flying Mother Nature's silver seed
To a new home in the sun
Flying Mother Nature's silver seed
To a new home

Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band - Cape Canaveral Lyrics

Oh, oh, oh brother totem pole
I saw your legends lined up
And I never felt more natural
Apart, I just came apart

Please, please, please sister Socrates
You always answer with a question
Show some kindness to a petty thief
Forgive, you did forgive

Saw the migrants smoke in the old orange grove
And the red rocket blaze over Cape Canaveral
You’ve been a father to me
In 1960’s speak
In the comatose joy that we’re on TV
While the mountain’s side was shining
Wild colors of my destiny

I watched your face age backwards
Changing shape in my memory
You told me victory’s sweet
Even deep in the cheap seats

Hey, hey, hey mother interstate
Can you deliver me from evil
Make me honest make me wedding cake
Atone, I will atone

Wait, wait, wait mighty outer-space
All that flying saucer terror
Made me lazy drinking lemonade
A waste, it just went to waste

Like the Freon cold out the hotel door
Or the white rocket fade over Cape Canaveral
You’ve been a daughter to me
Your buried shoe-box grief
I felt your poltergeist love like savannah heat
While the waterfall was pouring
Crazy symbols of my destiny

I watched your face die backwards
Little baby in my memory
A lonely victory sweet
Even deep in the cheap seats

And you don’t judge me
That’s not your style
But I won’t see you for a little while
And there’s no worries
Whose got time
All these changes are going to fill your mind

Like the citrus glow off the old orange grove
Or the red rocket blaze over Cape Canaveral
It’s been a nightmare to me
Some 1980’s grief
Gives me parachute dreams
Like old war movies
While the universe was drawn
Perfect circles form infinity

Saw the stars get smaller
Tiny diamonds in my memory
I know that victory is sweet
Even deep in the cheap seats

Instead...

Instead of buying NEW cds, I tried to listen to some old ones that are awesome! It's a stretch, I know, but I wanted to try to tie this (somehow) to being green. I think I did pretty well, in that regards.

Basically, all I really wanted to say was go beg, borrow or steal this album:

None are worthy of it's greatness.

Not only did it spawn some massive hits here in the U.S., it endures as the lasting impression of The Smashing Pumpkins. You say Smashing Pumpkins, nobody says "Oh, the guys that did Ava Adore" or "Man, Pissant is a killer tune." No no, quite the opposite; "There the guys with that song about the world being a vampire" or "Yeah, that Tonight, Tonight song, right?"

Guess what, folks! Those killer tracks are from Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, released in 1995. The best part of the whole thing is that those are the mediocre songs on the album. People talk about albums that "bend genres". This album has no genre. It goes from the lilting synth-pop of "We Only Come Out at Night" and "Lily (My One And Only) to the balls-to-the-wall straightforward rock of "Zero" and "An Ode To No-One".

Cleverly divided into a double disc ("Dawn To Dusk" and "Twilight to Starlight") the album delivers on the divisive premise. "Dawn To Dusk", the first cd, features some of the harder rockers and several of the more popular songs such as Zero and Bullet With Butterfly Wings. That disc closes with a mellow number penned by guitarist James Iha. Which seems to set the tone for the second disc.

"Twilight To Starlight" opens with a rocker, "Where Boys Fear To Tread" to carry over the themes from the first disc. But by the third track, "Thirty-Three", it's clear that this disc is more emotive and lyrical than the brash and angry rock of the first disc. It's on this disc where I heard my first "acoustic" song, "Stumbleine". Which is still, by far, my favorite song on the album and high in the ranking of my favorite songs of all time.

The entire CD, when I listened to it as a brooding teenager, was raging, depressing and raucous. Looking back on it, now, as a young man, I find it more expressive of feelings of loss and change while still being expressive of the anger and sadness of teenage-dom.

Plus, Billy Corgan is the man.
His solo album, The Future Embrace was a masterpiece. Billy Corgan = Badass

The necessity and the compost bin!

I am fine and thanks for asking;

Recently, I have found myself addicted to all things green. I have my canvas bags and my DVR is absolutely chock full of programs on Planet Green. Fantastic.

Unrelated, my parents have a garden where they grow some tomatoes, peppers, etc. etc. This year (after we moved) we transplanted them to the rich North Carolina soil and have not seen a single plant produce a single fruit. Turns out "soil" in North Carolina is more like sand and little bits of rocks and is rather free of nutrients. So, we were faced with a dilemma.

How can we bring nutrients to this miserable soil? Composting is a cheap and environmentally friendly method of fertilizing. So, we would have a compost bin! I did my research (my father has a collection of sustainable living books from the 70's and 80's) and found out there were a plethora of composting options. In lieu of buying a bin, however, I determined I would build one!

One sunny day, as I was walking around the backyard trying to find a suitable location for said compost bin, I looked up into the branches of a dead tree and saw an old tree house, or at least the start of an old treehouse. It was a project obviously abandoned in the early stages. It was then I had the idea for a completely recycled material compost bin! I would use as little new material as possible! I climbed the tree and stripped it of the tree house lumber. And it sat in the yard for two days before I did another thing with it.

This is the tree stripped of it's lumber.

This is the wood I managed to salvage.

These are the nails I took out of the wood. I will reuse these (except the small trim nails).

So, thusfar, I had wood, nails and a spot picked out. I did a rough sketch of the compost bin, and realized I was missing a board! Kind of crucial, as it held two posts in place. I was walking back into the house, defeated. I would have to buy lumber, I thought. I paused to examine the damage our daschunds had done to mom's flowerbed that I saw this:

Stacks of lumber under the back porch!

It wasn't in great shape, by any means. Most of the wood had dry rotted and some was infested with what I can only describe as maggots. However, I managed to find a piece that was only damaged on one end, and cutting it to match the other pieces of lumber I had would cut that end off! So to the carport (which is currently a makeshift workshop).

The workshop a.k.a. this dumb brick planter that is on the carport and dad's Skilsaw.

I cut the wood I found under the porch to size and then started cutting 45 degree angles into the wood I would drive into the ground as posts. The first two were ugly, but I hit my stride on the third and all in all I think I did alright.

The wood, finally cut to size and ready to be built into a compost bin.

It was right after I got done cutting that I was called into work early, so that put a damper on the construction project. Having got this far, though, I figure another hour of work and things will be done. I will need, however, to purchase a roll of chicken wire. That (it seems) will be the only new material I will need. Will keep you posted.

-kyle